He should think every day could be the day, so it's important to make the effort every day. Talk to him about how you feel and don't accuse. Explain how you feel and then listen carefully to his response. But if you believe you have done something wrong then its time to apologize and show him you feel sorry. Relationships can be confusing, especially if you and your boyfriend have trouble communicating effectively. Every time he hangs out with his friends, he completely ignores you. They both play video games and Ive started to play too because I want to bond with my bf. I warn you to make sure he understands how much you like his sister. School, work, hobbies, friends, family, and a whole host of commitments need to be squeezed into 24 hours. And making fun of you to make someone else laugh is just fucked up no matter who its for. You're crazy. But ultimately it resolves nothing and can do real damage to a relationship. Make it his fault. They are SICK. Let him date his sister since that's what he is basically doing anyway. I don't think you're ever going to get what you want or need out of him. It might also be because he wants to avoid conflict, so he won't engage with you. Same for men - if your partner is mean to you, don't settle for it. Is this relationship salvageable. This is basically the words I'd be tempted to use. Most definitely not excusing the boyfriend here, they need a serious talking to. Explain to him what could be done to make you feel better about the situation. Although he should not ignore you, his daughter should be his priority. Would I be right in saying you probably feel like this is something you can't talk to him about because you don't want to seem selfish? This guy ain't it, OP. If your boyfriend isnt able to go out without his sister even when you request this its time to have a conversation and be prepared to walk away. Your 20s is a time for fun. Honestly I think you can save your breath on this one. In fact, its only going to make things worse. These are the issues. Texting can quickly create misunderstandings. I am experiencing it myself, albeit to a lesser magnitude, and I just wish I had the realisation to walk away when I first learnt the dynamic of their relationship. You dont like the idea that your boyfriend is putting someone elses needs above yours. but when i go out with my friends, he wants to know who where what when why, and gives me the 3rd degree on what i was up to. Walk away from the situation, if he really cares for you hell come after you. should i This may be something like he is losing interest in the relationship but doesnt have the courage to tell you. And this could be the reason he acts differently around them than he does around you. I dont know what sort of vibes you get from it, but its better to keep them to yourself, rather than sharing with everyone else because people random stangers words are only as good as fortune cookies, but still i would say, talk to him, tell him how you feel, u should not be defensive but still firm meaning that laughter at the expense of your self respect is something that no one should compromise, having said this its also import to have a self catharsis and actually realize that what is it that bothers you that much because lets be honest and im being completely honest, its not they would be doing any taboo. She is asking to not be the butt of his jokes to his sister, not be treated like the third wheel. Its like a coin toss to see which way the Mob will go. It sounds as if he has a crush on his sister, and you're the beard. You need to have a REAL sit-down talk with him, and tell him straight up that you find his behaviour unacceptable, and for this relationship to work, you both have to express your needs and wants - and work towards that. Theres nothing wrong with a brother and sister being super close. Youll know this is the situation if he is using everything as an excuse to ignore you. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. You need to communicate your needs. Here is where consequences comes in. Louise Jackson Yall are 20, chances very low yall will get married. I think you should just break up with him. But lately, he's been getting a little distant when you're around his friends. I think it's time to go guy shopping. You aren't their therapist and don't owe him a damn thing. Whether its his sister, his mom, a friend, why would you be ok with him treating you like that? Often you just need to talk things through. This wouldn't be okay even if they were all friends. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 800-799-7233, or you can message with someone by texting START to 88788. If not, its probably his way of pushing you away until he feels comfortable to break things off. Just be sure to keep an eye out for classic withdrawing behavior. It may not be anyone's fault, just that you two are too different to make each other happy. Maybe she is just consumed with other chores and not ditching you, as you may feel! Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. This is a good sign, he's this type of caring person and this is what you can expect when your relationship reaches this level. Do NOT drag his sister into the conversation. You can do better. When youre waiting for a text from your boyfriend, minutes can feel like hours. If they eventually meet that potential and you meet again and date, cool. DO NOT sacrifice yourself to make husbands for other people. Nothing else to say really. This tendency results from a passive-aggressive nature. When he ignores you, it means that you are less important to him. It's so hard to hear but please just leave. February 19, 2023, 12:53 pm, by However, lately he has her play with us every single time and she of course wants to play all of the hard stuff that I find very un fun because Im not that good and they leave me behind without explaining what to do. He doesn't talk to me, he doesn't even look at me. Id also like to mention the jokes at my expense. Yes! Why are you staying in this relationship if you feel like a third wheel? It is not HER responsibility to teach someone how to treat a romantic partner and basic respect. The reality is, his daughter is the most important woman in his life. Tell him that you both will need to help eachother along the way, because change is not easy. Edit: clearly downvoted by those with crappy relationships with their siblings lol. You deserve to spend time with your boyfriend AND his friendsand he deserves the same from you. Wow are you me??? Turns out the more clingy I got the more he drew away and the more insecure I felt and the more he drew away, rinse and . For some more insights, check out this video by Talks Guys with Girls.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'beingagoodparent_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_15',148,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-beingagoodparent_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); Middle of the Night Uncontrollable Tantrums 2-year-old, How To Convince 21-Year-Old Son To Stop Partying, Daughter Chooses Boyfriend Over Her Family. Tell him how you expect to be treated from now on, and that you won't put up with anything less. I still think your boyfriends behaviour is a little bit too much with his sister though, but I dont know, people behave in all sorts of weird ways with their families! If he cant really see whats wrong with it himself (just as a majority of people will), it means that his brain is wired this way to think it is normal and he is never gonna understand it no matter how you explain it to him. Good luck, OP. They most likely arent having a romantic/sexual relationship, but your bf already has a gfhis sister. Now she is, but I assume they had a conversation I obviously didn't know about. If OPs boyfriend can't change a little to help her feel comfortable then it's more of an issue. He just seems to lack the ability to manage his SO relationship vs and family ones. I realize not everyone is quick with a comeback or has that kind of sense of humor butagain, communication. He will probably tell you you are being silly if you bring this up, but the truth is that his actions are showing you that you're not as important to him as his sister. (Except weird sexual stuff. We become better partners as we learn from previous relationships. If it bothers you so much, you should talk to him. This behavior is abnormal. Its a family member. This guy has a lot of growing up to do. The sister brother thing ia too cute. But there is a lot wrong with a boyfriend intentionally doing things that are going to hurt his girlfriends feelings. So those factors and then coupled with everything else hes mentioned. This is my situation exactly. my boyfriend ignores me when his sister is around. But your relationship needs to have equal footing and both your needs met. Talk to him OP, about how you feel. Keep us updated. Also I have a feeling she doesnt tell him because she already knows shes jealous and overreacting. Youre more likely to say things you dont mean when youre feeling emotional. You may have been told that true love is when he ignores you, but this simply isnt true. Give him some space to spend time with his friends, and feel free to ask him what he wants from you at the moment. id question how you got into a relationship with this guy in the first place if hesmoderately into you. If he is ignoring you, filling his inbox only serves to annoy him and make him ignore you further. I had a boyfriend, my brother didnt have anyone at the time. He's obviously either in love with his sister or B: doesnt give a shit about you. They may ignore you during important conversations, refusing to reply. If your boyfriend is ignoring your calls or texts when he is with his daughter, there is a good chance that he is not ready to introduce you to her. Maybe you could engage with the sister too and learn about some of those inside jokes, get some details about your boyfriend's past or habits that you can playfully fire back with sometimes, IDK. He honestly just doesnt seem ready to prioritize a girlfriend in his life. Why would the idea of marriage even be thrown into the mix here? You will of course need to spend time with his sister on the odd occasion since they have a close relationship. Oh my god this sub is really getting more and more into the nuclear options with each passing day. I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was. He could be brushing her off because he's getting less interested and prefers the company of people he likes better (his sister). Chances are your boyfriend is more likely to use work or other commitments rather than their own daughter. But you can legit just leave this dude. Assuming there are such people. Stop trying to make plans with him, stop trying to get his attention. Or he could be trying to punish you by ignoring you altogether. We both agree that op deserves alone time. Let him jog on and date his sister if that's what he's about, not your problem. I wonder if this is because it's brother & sister? I adore my siblings but would I ask them to come out with me when I'm spending time with my partner all the time? Well no, you can't think like this because it's evident from this post that he is only acting like this with his sister around. So what do you do if this sounds like your situation? Youre too young to waste your time with someone immature who is an ass to you just to make his sister laugh.